It's Friday. On Monday it felt like it would take SOOOO long to get here. By Wednesday I was like "OK Hang in there." Suddenly I was telling Ivan to take the trash out on Thursday and voila, this morning I am filling out time sheets, changing my phone message, and clicking the "I am out-of-the office" button on my work email. As of 4:30 this afternoon (3:30 if I work through lunch), I am back on vacation! Yup. I have barely caught up on telling you about my last vacation and here I am already heading on another one. As I filled out my time sheet today, I realized that I will only be at work nine whopping days this month. Therefore, this year has been more like a European/Asian vacation year than the traditional one or two week American vacation year. And truthfully, as an American, I hadn't take even that long since 2000. So I am in desperate need of focusing on the big M-E for a while.
Actually, I'm not even leaving Fairbanks. I'm pretty much not even really leaving the main street that crosses tiny Bonnie Avenue. Where I will spend the next two weeks is just two blocks (4 or 5 real city blocks) from where I work. For the next two weeks, I will head to the Artisans Courtyard for the Summer Arts Festival, where I will attend a dance intensive that focuses on Ballet, Jazz, Modern, performance, etc. If I place well on Sunday's auditions I could dance from 8:30 a.m until 9 p.m. though I probably won't go to that extreme. I will probably end somewhere at four or five. Of course, you never know, I just might be THAT insane after all.
Unfortunately, I lost a lot of muscle mass and retention while I was on vacation in Montana. I took class for the first time since coming back and not only would I forget combinations, but I could not even get up on my point shoes. Every muscle just felt like jello and my brain like tofu. This weekend I will need to keep working out. Thank God Miss Krista is teaching company tonight. It will give us a pretty good work out.
A few people brought up the dismissal of our old director, but I have just made it clear that I no longer want to deal with it. I am ready to move forward physically, even if emotionally I am lagging behind. The hardest part is getting my mind to understand that I am my own self motivator now. I don't have to push hard for a teacher who pushes on us. I have to push on myself because I want to get better. Though I always pushed to get better, the degree in which I pushed for myself versus pushing for a teacher was probably somewhere around 40%-60%. Now its 100% on me.
Well, I'm off. I need to decide what to eat for lunch. I'll keep you posted throughout the dance intensive and most likely touch base after the auditions.