Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cleaning House (and Maybe My Mind Too)


Well, I didn't think I'd make it. I had to draft a 3,000-5,000 word story in one week and miraculously I pulled 2,150 words, which is about 900 words shy of the minimum, but longer than my last two pieces of short fiction. The early critiques like the style, but need more fleshing out in the action to truly understand what is going on. It's tough to translate what is going in the mind to paper and so I will have to let it sit a day or two before I figure out how to depict what is going on in my imagination. I will spend the next few days reading and posting critiques for my online classmates and then tackle the classwork for next week. Now that I am halfway done with some of these classes I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I will feel more relieved once A Show in a Day is done! I'm also performing on November 1st at our local World's Aid Day event with some fellow dancers and teachers from my studio. After that it is the Christmas show in December, and from what I can tell, I only have three dances to remember. By then I will be done with most of my current classes and any projects I collected over the year. I don't plan to make next year anything like last year. It's time for a break and to regroup my house. I've started making rough organization containers out of cereal boxes and finishing projects that I've stashed in boxes and tubs or on some shelf. I've started throwing stuff out. I've stopped bringing new projects in. By January I just want to focus on dancing and writing. My brain cannot handle what it used to. It is hard to believe that I used to push even faster and harder than I am now. In my mind I've slowed down and those close to me will say the same thing, but I need to dial down things another notch. I don't want to quit, I just don't want to be so spread thin.

Seven Days and Counting

The big 3-4 is just around the corner. Yes, my 34th Birthday is in one week. It seemed like yesterday when I was 24 and truly more confused than now. Actually, it doesn't seem like yesterday. In fact it seems like a distant past life that whips me with the trauma of when I couldn't keep my sanity for more than eight months to a year. People like to attribute those days versus now to a change in lifestyle, but really what change have I made? I am still just as busy as ever. I still carry a heavy load and I still go until I crash and burn, as evident by my flu this weekend. What has changed is how I feel about my work. I used to feel like I was trapped by someone else's agenda and that anything I did to try to make something mine was thwarted. I felt like the only projects worth doing were the ones that made money or brought about recognition. Now I know the projects that make your heart race with passion are the projects that are worth pursuing. This means that I am wrapping up a lot of project that have been fun and turning my attention to the ones that will lead to more personal and artistic growth. October is like my New Years. This is the time when I make my resolutions and set my goals. I do a progress check at the New Year and one at the fiscal year and another just shortly before my next birthday. This last year was all that I wanted it to be. I let go of a lot of anger and insecurities. I learned to like and even love people. I took on new and challenging projects and finished them. I wrote more. I submitted more. I saved money. I bought a new wardrobe. I went to dance camp. I took a vacation. I hung out with Ivan and Phil. I got a Wii. I probably made some financial goal that I blew out of the water (I must have because I bought a new laptop and paid for dance camp and a new wardrobe). Now, as I turn to the coming years here is what I hope to accomplish: *Attend dance camp for a second year *Produce new writing every month *Submitting my work for publication every month *Complete the WVU short story certificate *Clean my downstairs No financial goal this year, but if I were to set one, it would be around $8,000 in extra cash. That would make for a fun year. Alright that said, I am ready to get on with my day. I have regular errands to run before I work on WVU critiques. Write more later... Peace... RK

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