Saturday, May 02, 2009

Enjoying the Process: A Battle Against Perfectionism Continues

"Are you the one? By saving you, did I save the world?"

"I don't know... I'm just a cheerleader."

- Peter, Claire (Heroes:"Homecoming")

No my mission is nothing as complicated as saving the world, though in my mind everything has that kind of emergency. It's the deadly disease of perfectionism that drives to be more like Peter and less like Claire. Of course, if you are a fan of Heroes you will know that beneath that pretty blonde in the fitted red (later blue) uniform of popularity is a very dark and complex personality. She struggles with being different; with being "special."

My drive against perfectionism has made me reflect and go through days of frustration. It's learning to enjoy the process of anything I do. The times of getting lost in my work and emerging hours later to see night has overtaken us or dawn is breaking and feeling both exhilarated and tired and complete. I've learned to identify the things in which process is enjoyable: singing, drawing, writing and some web design. Then there are some things that I focus way too much on the results: dancing, publishing, cleaning, and some web design. Now it's a matter of understanding what it is about these very things I love that also bring me down.

-- Post From My iPhone

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