Thursday, December 30, 2010

Would I Share My Burger? & Other Ways You Know I Love You


Somedays you can't win. It's not you're fault. You are in a good and playful mood while others aren't. Sure they try to act like they're in a good mood, but when the playfulness becomes too rough they retreat. Then you're left wondering ---?!
That was my night last night. My face-to-face and my Facebook interactions just went awry because there is no universal signal for "stop I've had too much. Pretty soon I won't be able to deal with you or the rest of the world." Why we have not developed such a hand signal, I'm not sure; but it needs to be done. Now "the professionals" can talk about non-verbal cues, but we have gotten better at hiding those cues, or in the case of Facebook there are no cues. In some ways it's like operating in a vacuum. You post a comment and hope for the best.
Last night I was posting apologies, even though others were equal culprits, most oblivious to their unwitting collaboration; or maybe, as I'm starting to suspect, very deliberate in their words and action. I have no advice about filtering the wheat from the chaff except this: know your friends. Know deep in your heart what makes them your friends and if they're not your friends, then don't pretend to be friends with them. Oh yes, we can be cordial with people. Polite and tolerant--Yes! But this whole notion of being friends with everybody is a fallacy. I would blame it on mySpace and Facebook; however I remember seeds of this universal powwow starting late into my high school years. It was my generation's attempt to show that racism, sexism, classism, etc. was over when really a new surge was on it's way.
My apologies are posted. But words are only half the equation. For my friends or those who wonder if I'm their friend, I will give away my biggest non-verbal cue: I share food with you. Or I go out of my way to bring food to you. If either one of those things has happened then you are loved by me. Quite dearly. As for the rest, we just haven't gotten there. And don't feel bad if we never do.

3 comments:

Patrick S. Kelly said...

This is something I must really take to heart as well. I am friendly with everyone, but I do think I "Know" who my true friends are. You are so right though about the ease a misunderstanding can be reached in this digital age...

I will take your advice. I will be more guarded with those who are not true friends, and are more acquittance's or...whatever.

Also know I would share my food with you anytime, and I am certain that even though I am so far away, you would share your food with me as well.

Pagesculptor said...

I've started thinking about all the weird things about my life and this was one of them. I remember being at the fair and not willing to share my fries with someone I had worked with. When he asked me why, I told him that we just didn't know each other that well.

As for us. I'm pretty sure we have already shared food. There was a lot of tater tot swapping going around then.

Patrick S. Kelly said...

Yeah, I am sure we have shared food many times over the high school years. I am sure we will again in the future! :)