Friday, January 07, 2011

Why I Should Have Paid Attention To Cliques & Other Reasons I've Hidden You On My Facebook Feed

I once removed someone as a friend from Facebook, banking on the idea that he would never know.  Facebook doesn't tell them. He had stopped talking to me in our day to day interactions, and RARELY to NEVER posted on Facebook.  So after a particular day, when he was being a particular ass in real life, and I was particularly sick of it, I deliberately DELETED his friendship.  Well, to make a long story shorter, he found out in the following weeks and threw a fit.  Did he admit to being an ass? A neglectful friend? As someone who didn't really contribute to my newsfeed? Nope.  He only cared about the count on his Facebook page.  We are friends on Facebook again, but we never talk.  And recently I began to really think about why. It isn't just this friend.  Actually, I've began to wonder this with a bunch of people I used to talk with on Facebook, Twitter, or in real life.  I've never belonged to one clique, but instead chose to float from group to group because it seemed so much more open minded.  I'm not one to limit my options, especially when it comes to my personality and how I express it.  I don't like people who force me conform to others unless it's a matter of life and death.  And so I made a bunch of acquaintances in all sorts of realms, and a spattering of a friends who are all particularly artistic, geeky, and crazy. 

As I turn to 2011 and set all the concrete New Year's resolutions like "Make $20,000 through Pagesculptor" and sarcastic ones like "get kicked out of a country," I'm also setting New Year's resolutions about who I  pay attention to in my daily life.  Call this a redirection of energy because I really like all people and like to make sure everyone's existence is acknowledged, because there really is nothing worse than feeling ignored.  Yet,  I've fallen into the habit of giving others more attention than they deserve--in real life, on Facebook, and Twitter.  I suppose I could blame this on the stars.  After all we are leaving the unsettling Year of the Tiger and approaching the more introspective Year of the Rabbit. I could blame age.  At 36, I guess I'm not as tied to the opinions of others.  But really I'm ready to admit that there are just some personalities that don't mix well and perhaps a better strategic plan is to just acknowledge their existence, and leave it at that.  I'm sure they will continue with their unpleasant behavior, snide comments, and backstabbing plots; but I don't intend to credit them or get wrapped up in them anymore. So if it feels like I'm not listening chances aren't I'm not.  I mean if it's a matter of life and death, yeah I'll be there 'cause that's just who I am.  But on a day to day, I've selected who is worth listening to.  The rest are hidden on my Facebook page or removed from my Twitter account.  And maybe I'm ready to build closer bonds with some of the crazy, geeky artists; who are a rather mixed breed that exists in large numbers after all.

1 comment:

Patrick S. Kelly said...

Your insight never ceases to amaze me. Our realizations seem to be happening concurrently a lot lately. You happen to be the one who expresses the feeling first and I continue to have the "that is exactly what I have been thinking!" moments.

There are probably 150 people I need to hide on my Facebook feed and another 75 or so that I should unfollow on Twitter...