I have one week until I leave for LA. One week until I get in that plane and attend one of the most challenging dance festivals of my life. People have asked me if I'm excited and all I say is "I guess" because it is so much better than admitting that I am truly terrified.
Aside from performing on the Disneyland stage and adjudicating a piece that makes me want to cry on stage, I will be in a room with hundreds of dancers going from morning to night non-stop. I am terrified my body won't hold up to this plus the evening rehearsals. I am terrified people will laugh at my technique or my age or anything else that regularly terrifies me during auditions. Somedays I just long for the days when I was just terrified about gaining weight because at least that was only one terror and not 16.
I'm sure once I'm in the middle of it all, I'll forget these terrors; or more likely I'll be terrified and just keep going. I'll probably even have a good time. Of course, I will probably have nothing much to say about Dance Excellence or my following week with my family. Chances are really good that you'll ask if I had a good time in LA and I'll say, "Yeah."
Not sure what that's all about yet.