Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Happy Anniversary: 13 Years of Marriage and Understanding It All

"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."~Woody Allen.


Astrology warns that two Scorpios should think
twice before marrying
.  However, a successful
Scorpio-Scorpio marriage can be passionate,
intense, and fulfilling.
 I read once that two Scorpios should never marry. Go ahead and laugh at my fascination with horoscopes. No, I don't rush to the morning predictions prior to leaving the house, but I do read a lot about how the stars can affect people born in a certain month. I also run birth charts on people before I determine we can be compatible as friends. Some people run background checks.  I make sure our planets align.

Yet, everything in the stars said, "DO NOT marry this man."  Apart from being a fellow Scorpio, review of Chinese horoscope point out that Tigers (me) and Dragons (him), don't mix.  Yet, I remember standing in the Prince William Sound Community College Resident Hall with my friend Melanie and telling her confidently: "Someday I'm going to marry that man."

And I did. 

The road to marriage was not easy by any means because if there is one things Scorpios are good at its creating upheaval with a well-placed glance. A child entered the picture somewhere along the way, an Aries who is ambivalent to the two house rulers 98% of the time, but has been known to shout at the top of his lungs: "I am only doing this because I have two Scorpios for parents!!"  Life in our house looks boring on the surface, yet no one can escape the intensity. 

Daily life with a Dragon and Tiger in the house. My son
 regularly points to this picture and says this image
perfectly captures life with me and my husband.
Did I ever think I'd make it through 13 years of marriage?  Not a chance.  First off, I was pretty convinced by the age of 16 that there was not a man in this world who would be able to put up with my crap.  And let's be clear about what I mean when I say 'crap.'  It's more than just my attitude, which is pretty direct, passionate, and  indifferent about 98% of the time.  I'm a complicated person.  I will never lie about that.  I'm simultaneously social and isolated.  There are always thick walls between myself and the people I love though I will unexpectedly kick a brick out of place to open up when necessary.  My words are tender as kisses and sharp as knives and you will probably have both thrown at you in the same paragraph, if not the same sentence.  My insecurities are triggered easily and I will call anyone out who had triggered them on purpose.  I take shit becaue I know the minute I stop there will be tears and they won't be mine.

Ironically, my husband is like this too.  It's as if I married myself.

Who knows.  Maybe that's why it's worked despite a competitive planetary alignment.  I try not to think about it anymore, except to laugh after we have an argument.  I tell myself: "Dammit that's what you get for marrying another Scorpio/Dragon mix."  I smile because despite our natures we are always so intent on prospering.  Happy Anniversary Sweetie. It's been one of the best challenges in my life.