Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Take Heed When a Woman Changes Hair Color

"I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any." ~Ann Richards

If I could identify a numero uno douchebag moment in history it would be the morning I walked down my college hallway with my brand new hairdo--a short cut that was long and curly on top colored to a beautiful autumn red--dressed in a well-fitted wool burgundy skirt, white shirt, and heels.  I had broken up with my boyfriend two weeks before and been holed up in my house with my homework and a box of Kleenex.  I hadn't showed up to class.  I had barely survived work.  And the gods know I didn't want to talk with anyone.  That morning I was feeling good though.  I had finally picked myself out of the rubble, brushed myself off, and prepared to face the world with poise and grace.  That's when I saw this guy Adam headed my way; a guy with a reputation for his misogynistic attitude.  I smiled, a reflexive action when I see anyone coming my way.  His eyes glanced down me and he sneered.

"Just like a woman," he said.  "She breaks up with her boyfriend and she changes her outside instead of her inside."
Of course I was mortified and to this day whenever I sit in a salon and discuss changing my hair color I think about Adam's statement.  I ponder if this change is merely superficial or if a reflection of something deeper.  This weekend, when I proclaimed to my stylist that I was through being a brunette, I finally figured it out.  It's a warning flag of change to come.  People should prepare themselves now.

Think I'm crazy?  Let me take you on a three year adventure with my hair:

*Summer 2009: I have dark hair with purple highlights.  I'm in a relatively happy place when I get sidelined by the man who would eventually become my archenemy.  I retain this hair color for seven months and things are fairly peaceful and easy going between us.

*Spring 2010: I go back to my natural roots and become a brunette.  The friendship breaks and the archenemy rises.  It becomes a giant nightmare for the next nine months with only a small reprieve around my birthday. I announce that I'm thinking of growing up. My best female friend and I have the ultimate fall out that forever alters the friendship.
The female Freud may proclaim that sometimes
hair color is just hair color, but my guessis the
women in your life are trying signaling change.


*Winter 2011:  I become a red head.  I grow less tolerant with my archenemy.  I count down the days until he leaves.  I take up swimming.  I patch things up with my cousins.  During the summer, my archenemy leaves with a cold goodbye. Soon I meet the man who would become my new Frenemy.

*Winter 2012:  My red hair picks up blond highlights.   My Frenemy and I begin interacting more frequently.  I leave myself vulnerable to an attack in the spring of that year and it hurts. 

*Spring 2012: I go back to my natural roots and become a brunette again.  I spend the next six months trying to make things right with my Frenemy.  At the same time, I resume reconciling past wounds and learning to let go of expectations.

*Present: I have burgundy hair.  I no longer have patience for my Frenemy.  I actively avoiding him.  I lose tolerance for bad behavior in my other relationships.  I accept responsibility for contributing to the problem.  I start communicating with my words again.  I am resigned the boat that hold my relationships will capsize.
"It is not white hair that engenders wisdom." ~Menander,  Greek comic dramatist (342 BC - 292 BC)  Unidentified fragment
So perhaps the real answer is the internal change is subconscious and the hair color is its expression. After analyzing this pattern, I've vowed never to go back to my natural roots again.  There is something about that person that is damaged and attracts damaged people.  I'm not sure how I feel about my current hair color.  I last wore it when I worked for the news station some fifteen years back. Of course, I am now addressing problems that plagued my life at that time, so maybe this hair color is absolutely perfect.


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